vulnerable

2 years 9 months and 2 days since I last felt this feeling. I missed it. I miss the emotion it triggers. It has been ages since I let myself enjoy this. I've been consciously holding back because I’ve been hurt one two many times, sure I’ve had crushes and been infatuated but never to this degree that I am again willing to break the boundaries i so much put up for far to long to protect myself. Questions lingered, thoughts flooded and my heart pounded like a son of a b*tch just so to rationalize my renowned vulnerability to that so called "love"

Being anxious is an understatement, I tried my best to focus on other things but the thought of you keeps flashing in intervals every other second. I tried to sleep but I didn’t really sleep I was just in a sleeping position, lying making a series of suspicious sounds, staring blankly on the paint marks on my ceiling. My heart pounded, and with every throb I felt everything, the fear, the excitement, the anxiety, the hope. Every bit is piercing through my body. I am lost in the edge giving a reason to this. All I know is I’m addicted. And I don’t want this feeling to end yet.